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Exploring the Power of Identity: How Knowing Who You Are Can Shape a Fulfilling Life

If you walk into a room with ten other people in it, there immediately exists ten versions of you in the room…


Well, one survival instinct that we developed long ago was to make snap-decision judgements as to whether something is a threat or not. It used to serve us quite well; nowadays, it’s a little mixed.

What it means for us however is that wherever we go, people will create a version of us in their head.

And by the way, you do the same.

You create a version of yourself that might actually differ from who you truly are. And it matters.

At this point, you may be expecting me to tell you to ‘get in touch with that true version of yourself’.

And you would be wrong.

Because here’s the kicker:

Who you tell yourself you are, is more important than who you actually are.

That statement was so important I used bold writing AND italics…

Why did I go overboard on making such a statement? I’m going to do it again:

Because who you tell yourself you are, is ultimately who you become.

The story that you tell yourself, the narrative that you create about who you are, is who you will eventually become. Why? 

Because you will look for things that confirm that way of thinking.

If you tell yourself that you are unfortunate, bad things are always happening to you, and that you never catch a lucky break, you will find all of the things in the day that confirm that.

If you tell yourself that nobody values you, that you’re no good at something, or that the only way to get by in life is to look after yourself, then guess what: you will spend your time looking for the things that confirm this way of thinking.

Let’s flip this. Imagine you told yourself at the start of each day:

I am someone who cares for others. I am someone who is ok with failure and rejection. I am someone who stands up for what I believe in. I am someone who values what other people have to say. I am someone who takes risks to push myself. I am someone who won’t be walked over. I am someone who finds the good in all situations.

Just read that last part out loud. See how you feel. I dare you.

Nothing in there is too extravagant. Nothing arrogant or hyped. 

I’m not saying you necessarily believe it at this point. 

But imagine what your day, your week, heck your life, would look like if this was the narrative you told yourself each day.

This is the foundation of personal development. That you take control of who you are, that you decide your destiny, who you ultimately become.

Notice identity is made up of ‘I am’ statements. 

You’ll be amazed at how many you already say to yourself. 

I have a couple of tasks for you, if you’re up for it.

(This alone has changed some of my client’s lives, literally in the space of a couple of days)

The first one is to make a note of all of the times you tell a story about yourself in the form of an ‘I am’ statement in the next 48 hours.

This might be ‘I am’, ‘I have’, ‘You are’, ‘My mum/dad/goat was never very good at… (therefore implying you won’t be either).

Write them down on your phone or piece of paper. You’ll probably be shocked.

The next task is to imagine the perfect version of yourself, perhaps in two years time. How do you move? How do you talk? What do you say? What tone of voice? What energy do you have? How do others look at you? How do you interact with others?

Create the perfect version of yourself, and then imagine what ‘I am’s’ they would write about themselves. This then becomes your new ‘I am’ statement list!

Then write them out and stick them everywhere - your bedroom, your bathroom, your car, in your wallet, as a screensaver.

Immersive yourself in the person you want to become.

And watch your life be transformed.


As a personal development and life coach, I help professionals who are going through the motions and feeling a little stuck and lost to find a new direction in life, to help them gain clarity, peace and confidence so they can live a life that fills them with purpose.

If this is something you know could help you, I’d love to talk to you. Send me a whatsapp message, or book a free call with me on the calendar below. I’d love to connect with you and help you however I can.

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